I get it now Mom

One of my Mother's many beautiful gardens

I had a bucket list of sorts when I left my nursing job last November and one of the things on that list was gardening.  I half heartily put it on my list.  Mostly because of my lack of enthusiasm with gardening my whole life.  I was almost afraid to put it on the list because I didn't really know if I truly had it in me to love gardening.  Was I just fooling myself all these years wishing I had time and energy to garden or was it just not in my blood?  I've always had a love and appreciation of beautiful gardens, especially my Mother's, but year after year I never lived up to the expectations I put on myself.  I'd end up feeling like a failure at the end of summer when my container gardens were all dried up, the few tomato plants I planted only produced one tomato, weeds would be taking over, the flat of flowers I bought ended up in the trash after 2 months of sitting there waiting to be planted (yes, I'm ashamed to admit that I really did that more than once).   And being the offspring of a gardener whose gardens look like something out of Better Homes and Gardens made me feel especially inadequate.  

Mom never judged me.  I think she looked on me with pity sometimes knowing that I yearned to be able to do what she did and God knows she tried to help me.  Bless her heart, she'd buy me plants and trees and bring them over to my house and even plant my planters some years.  She knew that my life was full with other life's priorities and she tried her best to help me to have a yard of pretty things.  She encouraged me the best she could never making me feel bad about the state of my gardens.  This has gone on for years.  

So here we are, my first official "spring" gardening season with my new found freedom and time to garden.  Do I have it in me?  Turns out there's a spark there that has turned into a flame and I'm even finding a full blown blaze is on the horizon.   I'm asking myself, "Where did this come from?".   

I've taken 3 different Jeep loads full of plants I've dug and split up from my Mom's gardens and brought them home and planted them where I've needed new things.  The greatest thing about having a  Mother who gardens, besides the fact that I get to enjoy her gardens, is the fact that I can go get pretty much whatever I want for FREE.  It's like having my own personal nursery all for the taking.  And as an added bonus it gives my Mom a lot of pleasure to share with me.  She loves being able to give me plants.  

More of my Mother's gardens 

Things I've never had tolerance for I'm actually finding pleasure in.   For instance, getting up in the morning and dousing myself with bug spray, throwing my hair back, putting on my mud boots, getting out there before the dew is gone and getting my pants wet and muddy, getting overheated and hungry but not wanting to stop to rest and eat, and having to strip myself naked in the laundry room and run up to the shower before I can even think of sitting down.  Who is this woman and where did she come from?  

And for no reason at all, except for the simple fact that it gives me pleasure, I find myself walking through my yard and gardens to see my progress and making plans for what's next. 

I will never have the gardens that my Mother has and they will always pale in comparison but it's a start and it's making me very happy.  Mom, I want you to know how thankful I am to you for passing along this gene, for gently encouraging me all these years. 

Mom in her garden 

My Mother has a stepping stone in her garden that reads "A garden is where the soul feels at home".  I get it now Mom......